Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps
Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps: How We are Different and What to Do About It by Allan & Barbara Pease examines, exuberates and explains some of the key differences between men and women. It is one of the more recent books in a long string published by this amazing couple. The book answers questions like; What do women really want? How do men think about relationships? And what about biology and love? Taking communication as their perspective, the authors have quite successfully dissected gender difference. Not the most urgent read, but definitely one to savour for the next vacation.
The first chapter is about sex in the brain, who would not want to read about that. One of the subtopics covers the topic; I cannot sleep, I cannot eat. The biological explanation is a low serotonin level and high oxytocin level. The funny thing is that this image, of these hormones found in teens who are in love, is similar to people who are considered crazy. More of the chapter states that people have a lot more dopamine than normally, are more creative and full of energy, and need less sleep or food. They even state that being in love can be compared to being high, the same areas are activated as when you were to take cocaine.
But of course, you are wondering where men and women are different. In the brains on love of the different sexes, different areas are activated. Women have more activation in the areas for memory, emotion, attention and mental images. Men have more activation in the areas for visual processing. Reasons for these differences can be found in many areas. Through evolution, males have had to look for women that have good genes, so they looked for young and healthy. Women, on the other hand, have looked for men showing the capability to protect her and their children. This basic process is still present in our genes, even in our modern society.
The rest of the book takes the reader on a tour of what men and women want. It explores the one-night stand, affairs, and finding the right partner. Two of the latest chapters are about mysteries both sexes have about each other. One of these explains the ‘nothing’ box men have (I can confirm the existence) and why some of the smartest women are bad in the love-game.
By using both serious research and a no-nonsense approach to gender differences Allan & Barbara Pease have done a great job in capturing the reader. One cautionary note should, however, be made. And that is that the differences within both sexes are almost always bigger than between them. This means that on average men are more visually oriented, but that plenty of them are driven mostly by emotion and that there are plenty of women that are visually oriented. Nevertheless, it is an excellent book to read.
More on Why Men Want Sex & Women Need Love:
http://www.peaseinternational.com/ – Official site for Allan & Barbara Pease
http://www.scribd.com/doc/119050506/Why-Men-Want-Sex-And-Woman-Need-Love-English-pdf – Why Men Want Sex & Women Need Love (.pdf)
http://nguyenthanhmy.com/courses/2013/WhyMen.pdf – Why Men Do Not Listen and Women Cannot Read Maps (.pdf)